14 April 2025
good morning. yesterday a friend of a friend read me my universal tao horoscope. I don’t know if it annoyed me because I find superstition juvenile, or because every trait mentioned was negative and they all rang true on some level. whatever the case, by the end of the paragraph, I felt a sudden urge to restart my life completely.
BOO
two American spring breakers have been detained in Copenhagen on charges of common assault after an altercation with their Uber driver. pushing a local so hard they fall is part of that whole “bad behavior American tourists should avoid” thing I was talking about in yesterday’s letter.
for the first time in NHL history, the Penguins, Bruins, and Rangers have missed the league’s playoffs. this season’s Rangers did not deserve a chance at the Stanley Cup, and I dearly hope this shame lights a necessary fire under their collective ass.
with scams that use generative-AI to fake the voices of loved ones on the phone on the rise, it’s more imperative than ever to agree on a key word you’ll use on a call if you actually get abducted or held up.
YESS
it seems the bandage dress is on its way to being back in fashion after Hailey Bieber and Cindy Crawford both recently wore them. this feels unsurprising: young women have been foaming at the mouth for this for years now, evidenced by the obsession with the Skims dress. yes, it accomplishes a similar contour, but with its ribbed material and visibly adjustable spaghetti straps, lacks the magic of a classic bandage dress. suddenly, I am dying to put the olive green Hervé Léger I wore out to dinner on my first solo trip to France a few springs ago back on. it’s heavy as chainmail, and somehow still so sleek it feels like being naked.
if there’s one thing about the pendulum, it’s that it swings, and if there’s one thing about the human body, it’s that it needs fiber. so, say goodbye to the carnivore diet and hello to the roughage-forward “dinosaur diet.”
MONEY
exempt from the 145% tariffs on chinese imports to the USA are computers, laptops, and other such tech devices, though Trump suggested these exemptions will be temporary.
with sentiment bolstered by the tariff exemptions, European markets spent today tentatively inching upward. since I’m sending this out late today (as I write this it’s 937 in NYC) I can tell you that American markets seem to be following suit, with the Dow up 500 points on open.
MIAM
of the many curated-for-instagram lists of things to eat in Paris that come across my feed, few provide exciting insight into novel spots that you’ll dream about once you go home. let me tell you what to hit and what to miss. to begin, @Paris.Attractive’s “1 Day, 5 Parisian Classics”
coffee at Ralph’s: bold to start a list of “Parisian Classics” with a coffee shop that started in New York in 2014. that aside, this feels like the Instagram equivalent of going to McDonald’s while on vacation: highly homogenized. if you’re married to a morning coffee in Saint-Germain, I propose Ladurée instead. yes, you can find it elsewhere, but at least it’s a French institution and you can leave with macarons as a souvenir.
lunch at Café Charlot: you need a bistro lunch on the Paris itinerary, so if this is the menu that speaks to you, I think it’s as solid a pick as any.
hot chocolate at Café de Flore: choosing whether you’re partial to Café de Flore or Les Deux Magots is a touristic rite of passage, so I support this spot for a pause-café.
french fries at Lipp: as long as you’re going to Lipp, why not go there instead of Café Charlot ?
chocolate mousse at Chez Janou: MISSABLE. I could be loving someone’s Paris recommendations list, but when they list Chez Janou as a must and I completely lose faith and interest. such spots are a dime a dozen in this magical city- hit a nicher one. you’ll meet more fun people and feel more accomplished if you stumble upon your own place.
LIT
if the return of The Last of Us has you in an insatiable apocalyptic mood, I have some book recommendations for you: The Road by Cormac McCarthy is a stark, bleak story about a father and son doing what they can to survive years after an apocalyptic episode wipes out the nation. The Stand is Stephen King’s first epic, tracking the factions that remain after an influenza is leaked from a lab in the southwest.
SCREENS
the Minecraft movie topped box offices for the second weekend. theaters globally are pissed at young moviegoers for being destructive when they hear Jack Black say “chicken jockey.” they’ve cheered, brought live chickens to the theatre, and thrown popcorn in the air at the line. it might be shitty behavior, but young people being young warms my old heart.
BOP
debut Addison Rae album is coming 6 June. the singer revealed it on the back of the pink boyshorts she wore under a sheer dress to perform with Arca at Coachella.
have a good day ★
