30 March 2025

Good morning. if I see one more fuckass martini on instagram I’m going to scream. “I’m obsessed” comments on a salted butter martini recipe were my last straw.

BOO

• there’s a $1.7 billion 40,000 ton shield over the damaged reactor at Chernobyl to keep radiation contained. it was damaged by a $20k drone.

• the (cosmetics brand) Ordinary is selling normally-priced eggs in NYC amidst the shortage.

• fashion girls are mad commenters are calling things ‘recession indicators.’ Vogue Business says that the statement “flattens much of the cultural and historical context attached to fashion.” alright pack it up, wannabe wintour. these are not actually economists. they’re literally 16 year olds procrastinating their AP bio homework.

YESS

• a 26 year old man named Henrik Jensen emerged the winner of yesterday’s Usha Vance-free dogsledding race in Greenland.

• Orville Peck and Eva Noblezada are starring in the newest iteration of Cabaret.

LIT

• Come Closer author Sara Gran recommends her favorite noir novels, a list which features Gringo and Shella.

MIAM

• this morning as I combed my explore page for delicious content to report to you, one thing kept on coming up. over and over again. on account after account. and it’s that everything is the same. the food posting/influencer landscape is feeling increasingly bleak. everyone orders the same three things at the same five places using the same clips. food would be more appealing if people stopped talking about it and started enjoying their meals. bring back gatekeeping !

  all this to say maybe I should not hate on weird martinis. at least someone is using their brain to create something original.

BOP

• “Satan’s Son” by Eyedress (ft. Matt Sweeney).

• Three new Dope Lemon songs, “Sugarcat,” “Electric Green Lambo,” “Garden Wolf.” The album comes out in 32 days.